Helpless

I feel so helpless. You are miles and miles away and I can hear your pain when I read your letters and it breaks my heart that I can't do anything to help you. All I can do is write the most heart felt, truthful, loving letter I could muster up and hope it gets to you in less then a week.

Sometimes only getting to mail you can be so painful. Oh who am I kidding, it's always painful. Not having you here rips me apart inside. Not being able to just sit in my backyard and talk to you about my day or what's on my mind or anything... I know you're going a rough time but so am I. I know it's nothing in comparison but I still need comfort. I still need help. I still need someone to talk to.
You were my best friend before you left and you will be my best friend until the day that I die. But while you're gone, who am I supposed to turn to? You are the only close friend I have left...

I know I'm not one to talk about my emotions or what I am feeling. But not even having the chance to express them feels like I'm just holding in poisonous gas and that some day soon I'm going to explode and take out other people with me. That realization scares me...

And what's worse is that I know you probably feel the same and worse... And no matter how much I want to, I don't know how to help you or me. In the end it just leaves me feeling helpless.